There are many programmes, books, websites and experts out there seeking to 'teach' parents how to parent. As a mother and classroom teacher I found the Authoritarian model of obedience and control was not in keeping with my own philosophy and beliefs. So began my search for support that would teach a more Authoritative approach. This bought me to the work of Positive Discipline by Jane Nelsen. I loved this approach so much I did my training with Jane and became a certified parenting educator. I have worked for many years with this material and continue to do so today from Mindful Ed. Let me share some of what Postive Discipline is with you:
What is Positive Discipline?
Positive Discipline is a program designed to teach young people to become responsible, respectful and resourceful members of their communities. Based on the best selling ‘Positive Discipline’ books by Dr. Jane Nelsen, Lynn Lott, and others, it teaches important social and life skills in a manner that is deeply respectful and encouraging for both children and adults (including parents, teachers, childcare providers and teachers).
Recent research tells us that children are "hardwired" from birth to connect with others, and that children who feel a sense of connection to their community, family, and school are less likely to misbehave. To be successful, contributing members of their community, children must learn necessary social and life skills. Positive Discipline is based on the understanding that discipline must be taught and that discipline teaches.
Jane Nelsen gives the following criteria for "effective discipline that teaches":
Five Criteria for Effective Discipline
1) Helps children feel a sense of connection. (Belonging and significance)
2) Is mutually respectful and encouraging. (Kind and firm at the same time.)
3) Is effective long - term. (Considers what the child is thinking, feeling, learning, and deciding about himself and his world - and what to do in the future to survive or to thrive.)
4) Teaches important social and life skills . (Respect, concern for others, problem solving, and cooperation as well as the skills to contribute to the home, school or larger community.)
5) Invites children to discover how capable they are. ((Encourages the constructive use of personal power and autonomy.)
The Positive Discipline parenting and classroom management models are aimed at developing mutually respectful relationships.
Positive Discipline teaches adults to employ kindness and firmness at the same time, and is neither punitive nor permissive.
The tools and concepts of Positive Discipline include:
Mutual respect. Adults model firmness by respecting themselves and the needs of the situation, and kindness by respecting the needs of the child.
Identifying the belief behind the behaviour. Effective discipline recognizes the reasons kids do what they do and works to change those beliefs, rather than merely attempting to change behaviour.
Effective communication and problem solving skills.
Discipline that teaches (and is neither permissive nor punitive).
Focusing on solutions instead of punishment.
Encouragement (instead of praise). Encouragement notices effort and improvement, not just success, and builds long-term self-esteem and empowerment.
Unique characteristics of the Positive Discipline Model also include:
Teaching adults and students through experiential activities, creating opportunity to practice new skills and to have fun learning by doing.
Classroom discipline programs and parent education programs that are consistent. Parents, teachers, and childcare providers can work together to provide a secure, consistent environment for children.